2012 half gone? Purple Panties UPDATE

  Ok I really need to write this more consistently.  I have been blessed to be doing a live sketch comedy show recently.  It's so damn funny.  All transcripts of things that were never meant to be public .  Wire tappings, hot micas.  overheard conversations.  accidental reply all emails.. ALL just hilarious  famous and non famous alike!  I really believe in this show  but getting people to know we are HERE is a whole other story.  Lessons in self marketing!  It comes on the heels of another serendipitous event.  The process of creating a one woman show based on the career of Mama Cass!  I have been tuning about this for a very long time but recently someone else brought it up to me as a project and MY GOD did it feel right.  So away we go !!

I love the creating...I love the singing and the acting and I hope to make something beautiful!

  Whew  what a year so far.. it started with a secret commercial..filming on a ferry boat for 3 hours..Super fun.. it continued with an improv class that allowed me to perform at the Amazing and historic PURPLE ONION  for 7 weeks and now this funny show Verbatim Verboten!  So Blessed and so grateful!!  And like the greedy child I am  all I want is MORE!!

  I have been looking at the performers who really inspire me  and feeling so pulled to get back into theatre and even singing.. who know.. I thought that might be in the past.  but here we are again!  (I had a blood blister on my vocal chord from acid reflux year ago but that part of my range is sadly affected and difficult to sing thru.. any suggestions lovely singers out there?)

  ANYHOO, inspiration.. such a drug. Like falling in love...I feel kindred spirits and am drawn to work with them ..like we are magnetically awakened to work together at this time.  The Psychic in me LOVES this shit!  The artist in me NEEDS this shit!

 SO,  anyone know the fastest way to Broadway?

 I know (rolls eyes)....  practice practice practice!!!  ;-)

Just My 2 Cents

Ahhh the taunts that never go away.  Margaret Cho knows what I mean.  http://jezebel.com/5875219/
This blog entry of hers made me cheer and realize how I naturally hid and made myself so small (ironic) for fear of jokes and mean words.  I wasn't the fighter she is.  And thank God, I never had to deal with the brutality she dealt with.  My bullies were more subtle and even pretended to like me.  Anyway I developed my sense of humor starting with beating them all to the punch.. took along time to stop that  ..I still deal with that.  It became so natural it was affecting auditions and every other part of my life. When the words were kind but shared the same hurtful sentiment, I accepted that that's how people, especially men, thought of women who looked like me.  -Friend material for sure but with sad condescension, not lover material.

The people who throw words like blades... Well, you can see them coming.  And no, it doesn't hurt less because you know these jerks are not few.  They are the mainstream.  So you learn to dodge them like a skittish cat and you become convinced that the whole world shares their small minded beliefs.  Hell, the media tells you so...But they are the weak minded and fearful lot that get their jollies feeling big and strong putting others down.  How insecure do you have to be to really want to keep a group of people down?   (see Nazis, slave owners, homophobes etc etc) Sadly, the wounds that are eternal mostly come from the ones who mean well.  They tell you you'd be so pretty if...  or you have such a pretty face, what a shame...they show their prejudice then add that they love you and care and don't want to see you hurt.  Such a mixed message.

Half the reason I put myself out there now as an actress and singer is to constantly do battle with my inner demons around my weight and feelings of ugliness.  I don't remember a time I was ever happy with my looks.  Even those 15 minutes in high school where I actually was thin.  So clearly even when I was thin, I didn't "see" thin.  Body dysmorphic thoughts are always waiting in the wings to take me down.  But it's a fight worth winning.  And I will win.

My attempt at being more regular..AKA Prunes for the soul

OK  Here I go trying to be all communicative during a Mercury  Retrograde... so me!  I'm gonna try to take you on my little journey of going back into acting as a 40+... Plus sized....character actress. It's  like a train wreck..only funnier..I hope!

So tell your friends feel free to comment and hop on the ride down this rabbit hole, and with any luck we will all enjoy a bit of OZ!

ciao for now!

Home for the Holidaze

I'm not particularly home for the holidays since I actually live at home. But I almost wish I didn't so that I could experience that great feeling of getting out of school after finals and making the travel plans to fly home after a long semester. In any case, I started my holiday the eve of thanksgiving with Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol and the musical SCROOGE. Ok, go ahead and yell at me. I started before Thanksgiving technically but I really missed the music and tinsel this year...

I didn't do anything for Halloween and I usually have some nerdy thing to attend.. I even missed seeing the Rocky Horror Picture Show (at 43 it may be more sad than cool but hey, it's still fun with the right friends). Anyhoo, I missed the costume opportunity and no longer had my performing outlet called "Tony and Tina's Wedding" (where I could have written off my glitter with as much bold and sparkly makeup I bought for that show) but decided the glitter could be used for Christmas.. (I even visited Sephora to stock up on non chunky glitter and "glitter glue" for the eyes so I'd be more subtle...yeah... me...subtle ;-)

Clearly that ship has sailed.

Anyway, it was a slow November for bookings and auditions which was sorta sad since october and september were kinda cool and ego boosting in the Voice Over department. THEN, one of the auditions I received last week was insanely attractive because of the astronomical compensation. Wish I could be more specific but it would have been more than I ever made in my life. How do you get that image out of your head when you're trying to be casual and not care too much about any audition.. Ugh I bet the smell of my desperation preceded my recording by 20 yards.

As if a budding career in the entertainment business wasn't stressful enough, My mom is going in for knee replacement surgery. I'm not really worried about that. She will be fine and recover for a good month after just like she did for the first knee replacement, which is now working flawlessly. What has me stressed out is how my Dad cannot function without her and instantly looks at this as a possibility she might not make it. THAT FREAKS ME OUT. It's all good. He's always been the nervous type and my mom cool as a cucumber.. Problem is I'm just this side of neurotic with a dash of crisis management compulsion. So I'm ready and able to put on the brave face but Jeez I'm just so tired.

And welcome to my holidays.. you'd think I'd be used to it since every stressful, tragic thing that happens in my family is almost without fail during the holiday season. MERRY FREAKIN CHRISTMAS!!!

Aww now that doesn't mean I don't like my holidays.. I love them..just as I did as a kid. As soon as I hear Christmas music I'm sensorially shot back to my dreamy youth and the and tastes smells that go with it... pine, egg nog with nutmeg and ribbon candy. No matter what else it brings this Christmas, I keep my eye on the prize: Having family cozy together. Oh and the Grinch who Stole Christmas with maybe Rudolph and the Heat Meiser song too.

REALLY?

2009? That's the last time I had anything to say? That so doesn't sound like me. Well I have definitely been auditioning and definitely been continuing my psychic work. I think my biggest lesson lately is not to melt down or regress to my less confident self becasue all I'm hearing is crickets.... It's slow..It's the economy...It's anything but it's not ME...Well, I still keep taking classes and practicing to make sure it's not me but let's not get too deep into that vortex or I WILL need a therapy session... or chocolate.

And CUT...

Well 7am came around very soon simply because I couldn't fall asleep last night. But I made it to the shoot at MARS restaurant on Brannen and 7th. Meals were cooked actors were eating my character thankfully stopped eating for these scenes. it was rather freezing out and the scene is a patio scene. and as we tried to shoot the sun decided to rise right in our faces. So we went on break for a half hour..lol During this time I got to hang with some really nice and fun actors. One who was a retired NY Policeman who has a role on Trauma right now. He plays a paramedic. A very interesting guy. All of us talked shop and had a nice time. After we filmed a reunion scene I was wrapped!! Wow it's all a blurrrrrr. but so much fun...I crew all hugged me and said they actually wanted to work with me again! I was so touched. I love my LIFE!!

SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Ok so Today's filming was almost entirely in one tiny little room. I was relieved not having to eat again...This time I got to be filmed in various stages of hypnosis.. which literally means I was filmed sleeping..ALOT.. My favorite crew guy took pictures of me... He was giggling at me becasue I changed out fits like 25 times but after each time I was filmed laying down. finally he asked me to suck my thumb.. god knows why but I did and he snapped a photo twinkling with GLEEEEEE

He's so fun! so that's how the day went.. then as we wrapped at 7pm, I was told we needed to go back to the home in San Rafael for 3 more scenes...WOW ok fine...When we got there MORE FOOOOD uuugh.. ok this time I was actually a bit hungry so I decided to swallow.

(Dont get too excited)

It didnt take long for me to start spitting. bags of salty chips then LARGE chocolate bars. I hated wasting them but there was no way I was eating all that. The last scene was actually quite emotional and after the second take, there was a collective whoa from the crew because I actually started to cry. COOL huh? My buddy was surprised and took me aside and said I was a very good actress.. He asked for my card becasue he does his own film work and wanted to keep me on file as an actres.. HOW COOL IS THAT? We;; one ,ore day to go... WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..I'm so blessed

C is for COOKIE and CAKE and...

ALright the adventure started bright and early with a train ride to Hillsdale.. after some time freezing in a parkinglot.. I was picked up and taken to a medical center where I was squeezed into the most unattractive hospital gown and prep'd for surgery ( I feel a theme coming on) Ok this time I was not a victim so much as I was supposedly being hypnotized to believe I've had a surgery to get a lapband. It's basically a dream sequence. the guy playing the surgeon kept teasing me with the scalpel and I giggled as he tickled my bare tummy with the tip of the blunt tool....The gas mask kept falling and when it didn't the girl playing the assistant kept forgeting to take the mask off me.. I found breathing to be a challenge during those times.

Another shot was a cool ride...literally...I got to ride a gurney over and over again as they took me up and down a hallway 10 or so times.. I was getting dizzy evertime they had to spin me around to rush down he hall again. At one point the Camera man stradled me standing with the Camera pointed at me While we are flying down the a=hall.. i swear The nervousness on my face there is real....

That was my trip to Hillsdale..

NEXt we packed it all up and drove to a lovely home in San Rafael around 2pm. This was where my day really started. I was in every shot for the next 8hours. First shot was me "working out" Oh great I don't have tennis shoes... so like Cinderella I tried on the shoes of different crew members ...wouldn't you know the director and I have similar sized feet so off I ran in his shoes... Only me..this stuff only happens to me!

This crew is SUPER fun and funny ..MY character has to have an eating disorder...because being a large woman myself I know for a fact I do not eat the way this woman supposedly did. I fear this is something people assume we all do. To give you an idea, I started with chips and a few cookies. Ok fine I can handle this... Then the same day this character had a huge piece of chocolate cake, then later on that same day she had a lunch of a huge bowl (as in serving bowl) of pasta and smaller bowl of mashed potatoes and a salad I never touched. HAHA I get the joke FUNNY

OH By the WAY.....I had a husband today too.. A HOTTIE named REED!

Hi REED you were awesome to play with keep in touch!

Seriously two other extras stopped me and said "is HE playing your husband? NIIICE..Lucky bitch" I had to agree. He turned out to be an excellent and generous acting partner too.

Anyway, after all that fake eating it was time for the dinner scene for that same day. She made her husband and son a fried chicken meal but she had a LARGE full Pizza to herself in front of them. (yes I was eating or rather chewing all of these things then spitting them out not actually ingesting anything.) this was very ODD to say the least. in TV terms I'm eating NON STOP. Ok I didn't have the heart to tell them just becasue a woman is fat doesn't mean she is gorging on food 24/7 .. why bother.. it's a chaching for me. And like i said, I chewed and spit out everything. (well I had a cookie or two. But everything else was spit out) .. IRONY of it all was I was not at all hungry and still am not. I even skipped the dinner they sent for. I felt like I really had been eating all day. I may try this new diet..lol

I will be posting some fun videos I recorded . Soon crew members took my flip and started to record FOR me too.. They were awesome. We were all exhausted but having a blast teasing each other. . . For example t get me to eat as much as they wanted me to one guy prompted me to eat bite for bite.. I was sinhaling cookies and chips and cake..and trying REALLY hard not to laugh at this deep voice saying EAT EAT EAT eat eateateateat. He sped up so fast and I was trying to bite faster and faster..that the crew all stopped becasue they were laughing so hard. I lost it too and felt bad for each poor sap who walked around following me with a garbage bag.

WEll evening came and I was finally finished eating. The adorable boy, Logan , playing my son was on his way home. and Reed and I had to get in bed and fight.. Ok not what either of us expected when we were told we were gonna be in sleepware. It was a great scene to work on.. we really got into it. the next scene was more like comic relief. Reed was asleep next to me I was supposed to wake up hungry.. apparantly I wasn't looking hungry enough so they prompted me again with a deep throated HUNGRY..HUNGRY HUNGRY ..Reed kept giggling I would lose it we'd have to do it over again... It was surreal. Finally I have a camera inches away from my belly.. Reed again is crackin up..I am told to move my hands across my belly almost in pain but determined not to eat. It was too unreal but whatchagonna do?

Anyhoo, that was day one.. 12 plus hours of fun and mayhem. another long day tomorrow.

and even though I am totally wiped out i can't wait to do more!!

DOMO ARIGATO!

Well, Here we go again!!!! Another episode in The Adventures of the Traveling Purple Panties>>> I was lucky enough to be asked to audition for this group again and not only that but I had to change my audition time due to a performance of Tony and Tina's Wedding. These people are so good to me.. they aloowed me to come two hours earlier and when I arrived they pulled me out of line and put me first!! They called my by my first name in front of all the other auditioners. It was kinda spooky and very nice. I thanked them all profusely and did my audition. SO that was that. I didn't hear from them the next day and assumed they had cast another woman. No biggie ..It was a great experience. Off I went to another audition and then Thanksgiving YUM. Well, as I lazily watched the parade (the Detroit Parade --because I overslept and missed the NYC Macy's Day Parade-that's just how I roll!!) A phone call came in.. I answered it with out looking at the caller ID and figured it was a pal with thanksgiving greetings.

To my surprise it was a lovely guy who spoke broken English asking if I was still available. Again, I'm not expecting to get anything but "extra" work at this point so I say I sure am available.. and he proceeds to tell me it's the ROLE I AUDITIONED FOR!!! OMG I was PUMPED.. EVEN when he said I'll be filmed eating so much that they will place garbage cans near me to spit the food into since they do not advise me eating for real..Hmmm OK more on that when I know....

SO I'm here about to get my beauty rest (ok in reality that might need to be a "rip van winkle" sleep but just go with it) and I have packed all clothes and make up for tomorrow's adventure.. First stop a train ride to San Mateo.. OH BOy..I love trains!

Good Sweet Jesus it's a wild trip

Ok so when last the purple panties traveled..I was tossing of an audition for fun only to be told I got the part... time passed and I wasn't sure i even had the part so Off I went to Foothills Ranch a sunny community in the Southland to catch up with my college bud of too many years to recount here GINA!!! and Boy did we have fun. i made her go to Disneyland for my birthday becasue I got in free... She was such a good sport. She grew up around there so it was not the treat for her that it was for me...and wouldn't you know THEY HAVE TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY whenever they see your big flashy button that says IT"S MY BIRTHDAY!! it's like a law.. I think they get beaten by the Mouse if they forget to do it..or something.. so I flashed my left boob in front of every "cast member" in the park to make them fulfill their duty. Gina was very embarrassed and that made my day ;-) . We did some very cool things aside from torturing her I also went to an art class with her (She is not only a successful business woman but an amazing artist --The bitch) And it was an ART and Meditation class that was SO amazing I want it to be done here.. I'm NO artist really I have no illusions there but I LOVED how it felt to create and use colors etc.. and no I was not drunk. anyhoo we spent alot of the week driving and painting.. I say driving becasue you cannot get anywhere with out being on the road for a good hour unless traffic hits then all bets are off.. and THERE IS ALWAYS TRAFFIC!! Ok that just sux. Anyhoo. I love my Gina ..we had the best time and I am so glad we are back in touch. She is a big light and FUNNY as hell. (i'm buttering her up for another visit) I also had the pleasure of seeing LALAINE and C'ANNE Or CAN-EE as she likes to be called..ok no don't call her that ..it's a joke . Say it like Sea Ann. Don't ask me I didn't name either of them. WE had a crazy time at the rainforest cafe in downtown Disney.. I posted pics as each day went by but I gotta say these ladies know how to have a good time with Fudge and icecream. that's all I'm sayin. I missed seeing my beloved JF and DArn it Provenz I was hoping to see you too but alas Next time. NOW about you peeps who didn't show up to lunch grrrr I know crap happens and I get it I would love to see you all soon. Gina teased me that I made you all up SINCE NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP TO I CUGINI!! Ok ok I was a little bummed but IT was still a lovely lunch.. the waitress felt sorry for me and I think she gave me extra bread to comfort...So THEN out of the FREAKIN BLUE DENISE the hurricane hits Gina's home around 11pm after we had given up on her arrival. Deni played RIZZO I was JAN JF was Kinicky and we were all in Grease together my first musical in college!! WHAT A REUNION!! So many memories and stories......ok so I have pics of Deni Gina and i my last night there but I'm gonna hold on to them for blackmail purposes. WE stayed up til 3pm Like the dorm life we knew so well. not a day has passed really we still all look EXACTLY the same..(thanks to ms clairol) And we fell right into our old fun ways. What a blast and a nice send off to a perfect relaxing retreat!

Now I'm home and suddenly I get this call ...I don't recognise the name but WOOHOO good thing I answered.. It was to tell me I got the part of Tina's MOM FOR SURE and they want me to come see the show tonight...What a crazy trip it keeps becoming..so Off I go...Tune in next time when I am horrified to see the purple panties are fraying and I can't find any thread that matches!!

I go the part....I think

OK so this past Sunday I went to an open call for Tony and Tina's Wedding .. A very fun interactive dinner theatre/ improv comedy/play. But I'm not ready to say much more until I hear from them again telling me i got the part. It all happened so fast that I'm not sure what happened but i will share the audition craziness as soon as I can.

Will keep you all posted...

Sergei

NEW YORK NEW YORK

I have such interesting travel karma. I had a quiet flight..crowded and uncomfortable but that's normal. I had an aisle seat which I wanted but this adorable couple realized they were gona be separated and I gave them my seat on the aisle for a dreaded middle seat. Hopefully that was a brownie point for me from the travel gods..and it was... I got off the plane, my bag came out first and I walked outside immediately to find a shuttle about to leave. SWEET. So, we get to Manhattan and I'm informed that the driver cannot drive me to the door of the hotel and dropped me, bags and all, in the center of Times Square to push thru the crowds and walk to a hotel I've never been to before. Hmmm no I look like a native..really, I do. Ok I'm walking , I'm walking... and I see a HUGE Scientology building and I'm thinkin I hope to GOD my hotel didn't suddenly become a church. Now that would be an interesting bait an switch. Anyway, I walked too far, I knew it , but I could not find that damned hotel, so I stopped in front of the BIlly Elliot Theatre sign and an adorable bike and cart driving boy stopped and asked if I wanted a ride. I declined but he said "well,Can I help you ?" Normally I'd decline that too but I was really perplexed about where I was and I was tired. We looked at my literature and he didn't know the hote either.. he told me to get in and he would help me find it.. what a doll! SO I had a lovely open air ride ALL AROUND TIMES SQUARE. It was a blast. He grabbed one of his cart riding buddies to help.. HE couldn't find it.. so we finally hailed a cabbie who told us it was around the corner....my cute driver took us thru an alley to where we had originally met. Here's the Billy Elliot sign again and across the street? MY HOTEL. OMG we both just lost it! Laughed long and hard. His name was Sergei and he will never forget where the Paramount Hotel is ever again! (yeah I tipped him big time for the sweet adventure.

It's a wrap! Mercury retro, PMS and the pitfalls of being PP WOMAN

Well the day started quite early for me.  The location for the shoot was in SF  but I was to be there at 7am.  Because I was sick I didn't sleep much last night and of course when I was taking my nightly meds I discovered how PMS  I actually was all day. (Ladies gimme a holla on that one) but I made sure I was there before the crew.  So THERE ya big mean UNIVERSE!  I got you back! 

We were at an eatery called Park Chow on 9th at Irving and EVERYONE I told about this place was happy to tell me how incredibly good the food was there.  Nice , maybe  they will cater for us.  HA.  I met some of the same actors I worked with before and a couple of new ones too.  And  BAM  we are filming.  I did about an hour's work and they said I was wrapped.  I was shocked, I had to ask again.  Suddenly, I was the recipient of spontaneous appluase .  The crew seemed to clap for a long time... for me! I kinda figured they were thinking " Oh thank God  she's done we don't have to deal with her anymore."  But  it was still nice to be clapped off the set  ;-)  I stayed a bit longer  because I knew I wanted to say goodbye and thank  each crew member and, of course the director.  Maybe apologize again.  While I was waiting and watching I was chatting with the other actors and we talked about getting a copy of this for each of us.  One of the guys got a copy from the last one he did and is going to take us through this crazy process of finding the airdate  then having this tiny Video store in Japantown record it for us.  (nice little idea they have going there- hope it doesn't cost an arm and a leg for a homemade DVD.) Two of the guys, James and Elias,  have worked alot around the City and were too cool to hang out with and chat.  They played the detectives in the story and they looked so LAW AND ORDER  SVU  it was funny.   VEry nice professional guys.  At an appropriate break I had my chance to say thank you to each crew member.  I had stayed in the restaurant and ordered breakfast. ( Hey people kept saying how good the damned place was  Don't judge me! and yes it was fantastic!) As I made the rounds with each person i worked with I was happily surprised to enjoy a hug or two from these quiet serious guys.  So sweet.  Such a great crew of professionals.   Sigh,  I'm still stressed that they might hold the craziness of being late against me and if they do, oh well, what can I do? But what a fantastic first experience. I was treated very well on this set.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I'm told this isn't a normal experience-The level of professionalism coupled with the polite friendliness of the people involved.  Actors were telling me horror stories of being yelled at and embarrassed by control freak directors.  So it looks like I've been spoiled on my very first professional gig.  I'll take it!  I'm big into signs and I wondered on such a short day would I see one.  I shouldn't have worried.  As I was carting all my crap up the street to find a cab home (yes a cab , you have no idea how heavy all that luggage was)  I walked by a window that had all sorts of kitchy stuff from plastic robots and silly hats to t-shirts, metal lunchboxes and mugs with LUCY on them.  As I scanned the window A big white square of writing caught my eye.  And I do mean Big.  It was plain and simple.  No plastic, metal or kitch  I'm not even sure what it was  but it was LITERALLY a SIGN

It read:  "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." -Thoreau  

 I was and am rendered speechless.

Day three comedy of errors driving school

Ok  Now I'm convinced the universe is putting the squeeze on me to get my license.  I left my house in a cab bound for FAIRFAX at 7am.  My call was at 8am..I thought I'd even be early  since yesterday was so embarrassing to be late.  Mercury is definitely in retrograde because the angels sent me a sweet but stoopid cabbie for the experience from HELL.   First he was all chatty.. now that's nice and all but it's 7am.  At leaset he says he knows where Fairfax is  sO i don't bother navigating  with my google print out just yet.  Then after a half hour I realize I think he has gone to far  so I tell him he needs to turn around.  He is very apologetic and He does so... THEN  he decides I was WRONG and promises me he knows the way and gets us back on the freeway going north towards petaluma.  At this point I'm confused I think it's wrong but he knows better, right?  He even tries to show me on a map but it made no sense to me.  Finally As I'm starting to see cows on the side of the road...he sheepishly and apologetically says  yes  oh we missed it.."WE???"  then drives another 3 miles before we exit off near FREAKIN Petaluma  back to central San Rafael.  My heart is racing ....the time is short and Boom we hit morning traffic going into the city.. TRAFFIC????!!!!!  Holy crap I have to call again to say I'll be late.. the cabbie is all smiles  "aww don't worry...it's ok it's ok"  Like somehow *I* am over reacting.  We get to the place where I know how to find my way to Fairfax.. I direct him to go, now taking more control.  As I take control  I feel sick with stress.  Stress has really affected me in the past.  Today was not gonna be different.  There is a BIG FREAKIN SIGN that says FAIRFAX RIGHT  he decides to get in the LEFT Lane...and even says  "it's to the left  right?  Now I remember." I'm shocked  "no no no  STAY RIGHT!!!!!!!..now we finally get to the house....the crew is trying to get me inside but  the cabbie, sweet and with no sense of urgency says  ok  now you pay me. Over 100 dollars was on the meter...I was furious.. I don't yell but I do stand my ground and I knew I had to do something quick.  I refused to pay that  made him call his manager  and since he refused to give me my luggage in the back seat I CALLED THE FLIPPIN POLICE!  AS he was talking to his manager, he left out the part where he blatantly took me for a RIDE to COW TOWN!!!  So I called my Dad too and I have never had to call in that kind of favor before..But Buddy you got on my last nerve!! Honestly  I think he was a nice enough guy  but he pushed a very bad button in me....So I talked with the manager, myself.  Told my side.  they he got more understanding realizing both stories do not match and I'm calling the police over fraud  not just a missed exit!  Anyhoo, the short of it is, the pricegot  knocked down to where it would have been had he gotten me there on time and they took 10 bucks off for the inconvenience.  Whatever.. I didn't have time to tell him that holding up a TV crew  for a half hour was ultimately more than a 10 inconvenience discount.  Of course  MY worst fear NOW is that they never want to work with me again because they think I can't be on time...HOW COULD I have this new reputation of being late?  (twice in 2 days!!!!  BOTH TIMES NOT MY FAULT)....so  I get in and just start.  They hadn't set up for the scene yet.. I just tried to hold it together and not cry..But i was close to tears.  "Pull it together, Annalisa, Don't Bitch anymore , Let it go and Just Do IT!" So from then on things went very smoothly.

Oh Did I mention I became sick?  I mean, I felt it coming on all day yesterday.   That nagging sore throat, the sneezing itchy watery eyes.. Holy crap my internal monologue is becoming an allergy commercial. (could be worse..could be one of those KY Jelly commercials)  Today I woke up nose and throat congested and sniffly.. Go figure. Like My life could actually be blissful for more than two days in a row before some crap has to challenge that bliss.  Ce La ViE.  All day I was doing the one take thing.  I hope that counts for something!

But because I was feeling so ill I don't even know if I was acting well.  I fear I might have been phoning it in alot today.   When I got home I realized I actually had a fever too.. no wonder i was a wreck.

 "And now  phoning in her performance from Alaska!  Ms  Annalisa Bastiani...."

Oh well The director seemed pleased enough.  and I did catch the director stopping other actors from doing things that were over the top or just not connected.  So I was hoping he just didn't give up on me.  The fabulous Lisa Zomer was back to give me a hideous scar.  That was the sweet spot in my day.  I worked with a lovely older gentleman they cast as my husband.  and a sweet young girl they cast as the daughter who is getting married soon.  (ok THAT WAS SURREAL )  they were both very nice .  The good thing is most of this day my character had a fever and was sick with infection from her surgery.  So I'm thinking that helped my acting a little as I wasn't really acting in those scenes.  WE shot a few bedroom scenes too.  "hi how are you, nice to meet ya.  get in bed and be married."   All in all it was a great tie with everyone again.  But life has a way of teaching  you some tough lessons.. Mine seems to be about letting go of control.  Haha Even when I tried to get control back I felt Sick and stressed.. I remember that feeling well from the past and Oh  I never want to go back to those days again.  This week has been filled with spiritual signs.. yesterday I was so happy fet so on the path and at home  I saw the number 444 everywhere.  For me, that is the number I always see when I'm on the right magical path!!   Today I was waiting in the kitchen to hear "action" before I walked into the living room for the next scene and on the refrigerator was a fortune cookie fortune.  It read   "distressing things happen to make us become better not bitter".  AMEN to THAT!  PP WOMAN Peace Out!

Day 2 a comedy of driving errors.

Ok so as most you may already know I am allergic to the driver's test.  I have been with out wheels all my life "relying on the kindness of strangers" .  Well you heard it here first  I think I'm ready to get it done and over with now.. Seriously, I love that I might be doing more of this work but clearly I'm gonna need to drive outta the damn city to do it.  Today we carpooled to San Jose.  As if getting that set up wasn't stressful enough,  (IE: setting up multiple back up plans),  My partner in crime and I got LOST. I'm 45 minutes LOST.. oh crap... but everyone was totally cool and we were forgiven especially when we wrapped at that place an hour and a half earlier than planned for.  (I am now making it my goal to do it in one take as much as possible)  So  Now w are at this tiny airport.  Cool small planes everywhere.  We get to film in one and I get to look happy  and excited then turn around in the next take and be angry and sad... it's so wild to do this all out of order.  Then  we wrap there and drive all the way back to SF to film scenes with detectives and lawyers  ike a Law and order episode.. THat was a kick  because again it's ME  and thre Very good looking men in suits being cop like and lawyer like.. and I have to be all vicimy and damsel in distress... How fun to flirt ..and or scre these new men on set  wooohahahaha.  They were a blast and we all started giggling we were so punchy by that time.   I got let off early so i will be catching some ZZZZZ's tonight to be ready for tomorrow's adventure.. Hey  at least I wasn't naked today!...until tomorrow.  PP WOman. Peace out.

Baby's first filming experience

PP woman here again.  OMG  What an incredible first day of filming.  Everyone was so great.  I knew I was the main character  but I had no idea I would be in it so much.  I literally filmed 10 hours. When we broke for lunch I still had scenes to do..so eating was in speed mode.  Then we needed to be in San Francisco for the Hospital scenes!  BUT First, we were at this INCREDIBLE mansion in Marin.  A beautiful Julia Morgan Mission revival from 1909.  The couple who owned it were so wonderful and friendly.  I met the other actors as they arrived and we hung out in a bedrooom and then I never saw them again unless I had a scene with them.. I mean I was on camera all day.  Gee, and me so secure with how I look HA .. oyvey  (yes, that was sarcasm).  My first scenes were with The BAD Dr.  He was a great guy named Mike who really creeped me out good as the evil plastic surgeon.   This whole thing reminded me of how silent films must have been done.  Ususally I had improv'd things to say  but sometimes the director just wanted me to look sad...look in pain....be angry.  Omg  this was wild.  I was actually trying to be realistic but we went so fast(no such thing as watching the dailies)  I had no idea if I was doing good or looking obnoxiously false.  In anycase, they complimented me on doing things right in one take.  Now that was a cool thing to hear.   I was in a sumer dress... then PJ's ...then summer shorts... It may have been Marin  but it was FREAKIN FREEZING that day and I'm pretending to be in sunny Cancun with a painfulm bad, boob job... Speaking of bad boob jobs, I had to wear a bigger bra and stuff it with face towels.  HA  I know it was subconscious but suddenly all the men on set weren't looking at my eyes.  ;-)  Moving right along...we went on to the hospital scenes in an actual office of a plastic surgeon.  And as I walk in I meet the actor playing the Good doctor and actresses playing nurses etc...then BOOm I was whisked away to put on a night gown for surgery scenes.  Here's where it gets surreal for me.  They realized the gown wasn't going to work.... hmmmm guess where this is going.  Ok  Again I'm a good sport and off comes the gown , I'm under covers...Mike is over my breasts in bloody gloves , Omar his adorable Igor to his Dr Frankenstein.. (that's Frankenshteen)  Did I mention I'm the only woman in the room with ten strange men over my chest? AND  it turns out this nutcase DR  Duct taped her to the operating table...Yup  That's right...laugh it up, Paul,  it is sounding like a porn..isn't it?   Ok  again we have Dr Frankenshteen,  Igor the cute assistant, a camera guy, the Director , translating AD and 5 other crew men deciding something that feels suspiciously like.. "how do we shoot his face while her enormous naked belly is blocking the view."  But what do I know,  I do not speak Japanese.  Let's just say I felt a bit... well,  naked and vulnerable.  BECAUSE , oh I dunno, I WAS, MAYBE????  (in some sick way I was very cool with it.. I mean, Who the hell is ever gonna ask me to be naked on film?  This was still a cool professional experience , just not cool in the leather g string kinda way)  I think I was laying on this hard operating table for 2-3 hours.. My body ached so much today I felt like I worked out... hahahaha   ME  working out?   hahahahha.    But I digress.  I was to be unconscious while a fake bloody implant was removed from me.  That was cool but i didn't see any of it as I actually did doze off a bit.  then I was asked to look like i was falling asleep... then look like I was coming to.. then feel trapped in restraints.  heehee this was totally fun!  Ok then they tell me to take a break.. Which meant go to the make up room and have a puss ridden scar with stitches placed on the side of your breast.  YAY I get to work with the fabulous Lisa Zomer who was the makeup artist that last shoot. she and i had so much fun gossiping about  a psycho crazy celebrity she worked for.. hehehe bet you wanna know who it was...So  whilei was doing that the other people I met shot their scenes and left before I even saw them again.. Then I'm up again.  This time  My scene is with the Good doctor.  A lovely gentleman who saw way more of me than he wasnted to , I'm sure.  I need to remember that when they say No Nudity, they mean the camera doesn't record it  BUT EVERYONE ELSE THERE SEES IT....Sheesh, poor guy.   He was trying so hard to be cool about it  but I could tell he was sooo nervous.  he has to look at my scar... my arm is covering my breasts.. Not very well, I might add.  So  he does his scene a couple of times and each time he makes damn sure he is looking at my eyes when we are not filming.  He seemed like a  nice guy  but we didn't really speak.. after that scene, he was gone. (probably hoping the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was real and available on Craig's List  or EBAY for purchase. )  Well that was that  we Wrapped for the night.  I'm off to San Jose tomorrow to do it all over again.. Gee wonder who gets to see my breasts tomorrow?  Yes, C'Anne  my exhibitionistic ways at SDSU have apparently come in handy...Until tomorrow, fair readers....You sick fucks..... I am PP WOMAN!

More adventures with the Traveling Purple Panties

PP woman here.  The audition was remarkable.. sooo many women ..one lead role.  We chatted and had fun waiting.. clearly they were not sure what they wanted as there were women of all ages, sizes and hair colors.  And  in various states of mental stability.  Wow, the general public can be scary.  I sat with PAt a 72 year old smoking voiced, bowling, firecracker who would not appreciate me saying her age since she lies about it to the people she auditions for.. I'm told I need to do the same thing.  Not a bad idea now.  She was a hoot and we had a great time joking around. We saw some medical miracles walk by us to audition.. We saw realy bad wigs and facial surgeries and a couple of huge boob jobs.  DID i mention she was a wicked firecracker of a lady.. what a blast! I also saw two of the guys from the first time I worked with these folks and they remembered me right off the bat and I didn't have to show said panties to remind them.. That's a good sign.   After a good hour of kibitzing in the hall I was called into the audition.  Ok this marks the strangest but coolest audition ever for me.  There is no script as we are completely overdubbed for the show anyway.  They give you an approximate line to say .

So  this means it's all oral....Ok  I SUCK at remembering orally  I have a photographic memory so as easy as it sounds I was a bit nervous.  There was no need . i remembered my lines and didthe scene with the guy I knew from the last time. and it was straight forward and short.  THEN  he said look at the camera.  O why not... My next challenge was to give them facial expressions....one right after the other... he said ok  ANGRY....now HAPPY  ...now SAD...Now SHOCKED!  And that my friends, was that.  he went so fast I dont think I ever had to switch emotions that fast before.. and I was trying to be a good little actress and evoke honestly.  HA

What a circus!  BUT  I got the call this morning  thinking they would offer me an extra role  which is what i submitted for in the first place  and To my utter SHOCK  (cue camera)  I got THe LEAD... now to google MS Angie Paquette.  Hmmm  more to come...Oy Vey

Japan and it's quirky humor

I just got back from a day of filming a Japanese TV show called World's Most Astonishing News.

Got the call to report to set yesterday and today I did my 15 minutes of filming and left with a nice amount of cash.  BUT  even though i was there for 6 hours for 15 minutes of being a body double, I was fine...The crew was great  the Director efficient, the cast  a joy to hang out with for the hours of waiting...BUT even though we had two full paid for meals,an endless supply of snacks and sodas and a beautiful private residence to kick back in... THERE is still a BIG BUT.  And apparently that big but  is my own... I was told "no nudity" which was not a concern for me. I mean, really who is gonna hire me for a nude scene?  Alas.. I was unaware of the Japanese humor factor  where fat is so incredibly funny... 

      I was hired as a body double.. my face is not shown.  there is another actor in a fat suit playing the role because she transforms into a thin plastic surgery miracle at the end.  Well actually it's a bit more creepy as she got all this surgery specifically to look like her own daughter.  OKSo here I am as the before body.  I was to do a scene ( which I was fully aware of), in which I am trying to put on a black dress that is way too small for me....mind you Hearing it described to you and doing it are two different things.   Then they wanted countless shots of me trying to button a blouse too small for me.  This was a humorous event simply because the blouse I was wearing was my own and did fit.  So they had a Japanese man 

(I had just met) scrunch down behind me and pull the blouse tightly from behind while I fought him to get it buttoned....hmmm ok  Back to the dress... I was asked to take off my pants so I could try to put on this dress.  um  Ok  I am the only woman in the room except for the director  WHO ISN'T HELPING ME WITH MY CLOTHES so much as TAKING THEM AWAY FROM ME.  She tells the AD to translate and gets another crew guy to check out my panties while the camera guy is scrutinizing me a little closely.  Now I know damn well they were NOT being lecherous.. in fact, it was pretty clear they were not enjoying this anymore than I was. It was business as usual for them BUT  and heres a BIG BUTT  ....I WAS NOT EXPECTING ANY OF THIS.  And to have the AD translate while they are all staring at my ASS  was a bit,  shall we say, intimidating.  The dress was so small I couldn't get it up my legs  hence showing alot more of my underwear and butt than I expected.  But I made that choice on the spot to just do it.  No one to blame but me and my Butt (purple full size granny pants and all)..If I had known I might have gotten better panties out for the show!  Oh well.. what's done is done.  BUT

I'm hoping no one sees this and recognizes me.  It will NOT be on my show reel and I will not order copies of it for my scrap book.  BUT  and this is my second to last but for this blog...I just want you all to know that You may not know me now  but I will soon be big in Japan!

MAY in the time space continuum

Seriously?  MAY ALREADY?  Didn't I just get back from London?  Ah Time.  How much faster can it go..?  Wait ... don't answer that.  I might get motion sickness.   I suppose the opposite would be more maddening.  if Time were crawling at a snails pace I'd be climbing the walls.  Funny, this illusion we all collectively agree on.  Perception is  key , I guess.  But like Einstein said, "Imagination is everything".   HMMMM So why is manifesting what you want so damned tricky?

Oh yea.. the subconscious... Oh well that's a whole other Blog....just musing here.